The Adorkable Misandry of The Big Bang Theory

I have watched quite a lot of episodes of The Big Bang Theory TV show. I wouldn't say it was the best written show in the world, but I found it entertaining none the less. I did notice however, an unfair depiction of the men on the show, as is the case with most sitcoms of the last 20 years or so. So when I saw an article recently about the show being misogynistic I felt compelled to write this post.

I don't think the show is particularly offensive or detrimental to either sex, but if I had to pick one that suffered most it would be males. I found there to be more misandry than misogyny. I will attempt to explain why in this post.

None of the characters are particularly good role models. At least until the 'nerdy girls' appear in the show. But the men are usual depicted as goofy and pathetic, incompetent morons, or amoral philanderers. Penny's character flaws are usually shown as acceptable and 'normal'.

First of all there are the usual depictions of violence specifically against men not only being OK, but also hilarious.

The men are constantly being depicted as being lower or worth less compared to the women. Even the women who are supposed to be the counterpart to the nerdy guys, having also been unpopular in school or socially awkward are shown to be more valid as potential partners than the men. They often refer to the men as being lucky to be with the women, but never the other way around. They suggest that the men are less worthy and need to do a lot to make up for the "sacrifice" the women have made by simply being associated with them.

There are multiple episodes where the guys are criticised repeatedly for social blunders, social awkwardness, mistakes, saying the wrong thing or at the wrong time, physical attributes such as strength, height, attractiveness and also partner validity. But any such criticism of the female characters is considered almost off limits. There is even an episode where Leonard, upon receiving several digs at his character, makes one towards Penny, an slight insinuation on her intelligence by asking her to spell a word. The rest of the episode is about how Leonard was "over the line" and had to, as usual, grovel for forgiveness.

The men are often expected to be one that is romantic. They make grand gestures, make compromises/sacrifices, put the woman first, but yet the same is not expected of the women.

The women (even outside of a relationship) are perfectly fine to demand sex and expect no resistance from the man, who is expected to provide it at their beck and call. However should the man ever try to exert the same way the woman is, quite rightly, free to refuse, but usually this comes along with a reaction of shock and disgust at the mere suggestion.

The men are also often portrayed almost as trainable pets. In this case it is intended jovially, but there is truth to the relationship status quo. A fairly common characterisation of the male in many sitcoms. It's by no means the worst offender, but it is an offender none the less.

There is an episode featuring what is supposedly the male equivalent of Penny. Good looking, but not very bright. He was her boyfriend but she ends up dumping him because she saw him as stupid. He is depicted as being this laughable character who could never be a good choice of partner because of his perceived lower intelligence. However exactly the same could be said of Penny but somehow she is considered a more valid human being and partner.

Then we have this following scene.

For those that don't know the show here is a quick rundown, you have (left to right), Leonard and Penny, who are a couple, and Amy and Sheldon, who are also a couple. The two men live together and the women have their own places. In this episode the story is that the two male roommates have a falling out. Leonard, in his anger, decides he should just move in with his girlfriend Penny. Penny is apprehensive about the situation and doesn't appreciate being what she sees as forced into it without first seeking her input. Amy, then seeing the opening in her boyfriend Sheldon's apartment, decides to do the exact same thing. She tries to force her way into living with him and he doesn't like it. But like Penny he doesn't know how to handle the situation.

Then it comes to this climactic scene where all is laid bare and it's time to face the music. It's not really important which action is considered right or wrong here, but we know that one male and one female has committed each act. So what will come of it? Who takes umbrage and who has some apologising to do?

That's right! Both of the men are in the wrong, and the women, each having committed the same act as one of the men, storm off and await their boyfriends eventual kowtowing.

There are plenty more examples, but without sitting down and watching all 10 seasons, these are the only ones I could remember.

So as is the theme of this blog let's reverse the genders of these situations and think what the potential reactions might be. In almost all cases there would be complaints, blogs wriiten, social media storms about how damaging this is to women. But such things are rare for men and if anyone should speak about the male issues here the reaction online would most likely be negative. It's a shame we seem to  compete for a victimhood badge of pride. Instead of actually standing up for injustice of any kind without having to disqualify it for going against their world view.